Disappointments are a common occurrence that accompany human interactions. As beautiful and beneficial as relationships can be, they come with their doses of low moments that stem from unmet expectations.
As long as the many people on earth continue to have different values, ideology, mindset, behavior, and even traditions that make them different and unique, then one person’s expectation is bound to be another man’s abomination.
Also, there are factors that no one has control over and when they play into our plans, disappointments loom. For example, an unexpected 2-hour traffic delay on a route that would normally take 20 minutes to drive through, will cause a groom to be late for his wedding, even if he factored in a triple of the usual time.
Another fact that is worth considering is that things are not always the way they appear and there will always be times that we truly saw differently from what our experience turned out to be, especially when the packaging is attractive.
Don’t forget that some people out there are swindlers and keep targeting their prey with all manners of skills and swag, with an intention to defraud; in business, investment, dating, and so on.
Since disappointments are inevitable, it is important to learn how to handle them. Learning to handle disappointments will make such events less disappointing and could even cause the event to emerge into a blessing.
- All humans are fallible and this world is not perfect: No human is perfect; since the fall of man, every human has been disappointing God and letting one another down. The world we live in is also unpredictable in a lot of ways; laws emerge that affect our businesses adversely or an uncontrollable natural event occurs that destroys property investments. Since this is the case, you could take a deep breath and remind yourself of this fact whenever a disappointment occurs. It will be helpful to have this at the back of your mind, as it will help cushion the hurt that comes with disappointments.
- Be thankful for the disappointment: While this may seem absurd and you are thinking “how could I possibly be thankful for something that went wrong?”, you must know that gratitude is a choice and when you choose it, your pain heals faster. What could you be thankful for? It could have been a worse event and that’s worth being thankful for. Also, there’s hope for getting a better outcome next time, be thankful for that too. Besides, you may not know this but God loves His children so much and many times when things seem to not go our way, it is because God is redirecting our steps towards a better way. Have you not heard stories of “Thank God he broke up with me, I would not have married my husband with whom I feel so happy” or “ I’m so glad I was sacked by that company because it gave me room to take more courses and develop myself and now I have charted a better career path” and such other statements of gratitude that come up only after the bigger picture has emerged? Also, you can be thankful for other things that turned out well for you apart from the disappointment. Lastly, just be thankful because it’s God’s will that we are always thankful, and doing so gets His attention to move in our favour.
- Look at the Bigger Picture: A disappointment is an event in a chain of events. Look away from the disappointment and focus on the goal that you set to achieve. For example, from the story of the groom that got stuck in traffic, if he eventually gets married to his bride, the bigger picture is still beautiful in spite of the disappointing event.
- Learn your lessons: Do not waste any adverse event because it is usually an opportunity to learn and grow. Ask vital questions that will reveal essential lessons. The questions could include “Is there a way I can prevent this from happening again?” “Are there things I should learn about in this field in order to be better positioned next time?”, “Could I ensure that I always pray before I commit resources?”, “Can I be sensitive to signs that warn of likely disappointments?” “Are there reviews or experiences of others that could make me wiser in order to avoid avoidable cycles?”. Answering these and more questions will leave you with valuable lessons that make you a better person and that you can also teach others about.
- Look for beauty in the ashes: Many things that humanity benefits from today are products of accidental discoveries. In 1898, when John and Will Kellogg were trying to boil grain to make granola, they accidentally left the pot of grain on the stove for many days and it led to the creation if Corn Flakes. It could be that what we plan births a good thing that we did not plan and that makes the disappointment a blessing. Like they say, when life offers you lemons, make lemonades. For example, a person who lived in foster care and felt lonely though that stage of his life, grows up, gets married, and adopts many kids to care for, has found beauty in ashes.
- Keep moving: Your last event should not be the disappointment, move onto a next event. Do not summarize the entirety of your life’s experiences by an event that did not turn out well. It’s wrong to say “all men are nasty and I choose to never date again” just because you dated a nasty man. It’s also not true if a person says “It’s impossible for me to ever thrive in business, I am a failure” just because his first attempt at doing business failed. Like I said above in point 4 above, life teaches us lessons through such events and when we learn the lessons by asking vital questions, we are better positioned to have the outcome that will blow our minds. The important thing is to keep moving and not allow an event to define our lives.
- Be determined to break the cycle: If someone presented false documents to you that adversely affected your business, be determined to never deceive anyone you come across. If someone abused you when you were young, be determined to never be an abusive person but a safe place for many. The world will be a better place when someone chooses to do good to others at all times. You will also be sowing a seed that not only heals the hurt you experienced but also opens an avenue for you to receive the bounty that comes with good seeds, even for generations to come.
- Seek God’s direction: Pray about the disappointment, tell God how it makes you feel, and ask Him for strength to pull through it. Also, ask Him to direct you on how to handle the disappointing outcome. Trust that He heard you and know that you will experience His overwhelming peace and direction for the bright tomorrow that God has planned for you.
I truly hope that this post helps you to handle events that were disappointing and move on into the many blessings that are ahead of you.